eyefire | but don't make me your enemy

[ Every third grape, Etelo offers one to Adar's lips. A kind (if still very hungry all the time) little boy. ]

Louie and Tilly have taught me how to turn into a wolf and a bat, just like him! It's very hard. I was allowed to read about Valinor too, and how great Lord Morgoth rejected it. I met him and he smelled like angry bees but he was also pleased with me, Papa said. Did you know bees make our honey? I want to see the hives but Papa said no.

[ So much imagination, so few people to have conversations with. He trips from one eager thought to the next. ]

Papa loves you very much. Is that why he can be so mad at you too?

[There is forgiveness in the happy babbling and grape sharing that he didn't know he had so desperately wanted. He doesn't entirely manage to suppress the laughter that fills his chest when Morgoth is described as smelling like angry bees. Adar cannot truthfully say he disagrees, though he makes no habit of being near the Valar if he can help it. Eru willing.]

It sounds like you had a very exciting week. I am sorry that I missed all of it. [he says, kissing the crown of his head like he has since Etelo was a newborn.]

I suppose it is. He missed my attention. [Bitch if you're going to hurt him over it he's going to tell on you.] It will be okay, do not fret about it.

I will not fret if you make up with Papa. He says he does not speak with uncle Lord Morgoth much anymore, perhaps he is lonely.

[ Etelo wraps his arms around Adar and cuddles him fiercely after the kiss atop his head. ]

Promise you will never leave us again, not to make him look at you or anything else!

[Huh. Interesting.] I will try, I will not make any promises that he will accept me. But I will try.

Etelo, I need you to understand this. I did not leave you. At all. I came up here as usual, the night you heard me sing through the door? And I was locked out and dragged away. When I came back there were yet more guards. So I left, only far enough to get his attention and then you spoke in my mind for the first time ever. I could have wept, being away from you so long. I could not think, or function. I did not leave you. I swear it.

But if you are gone you are not with me. Papa never leaves, he is always here in the back of my mind. I am never afraid when I am without either of you because I know he can See me.

[ He gently pats Adar's hand, as if he is the one who does not understand the little half-maia. ]

You are like the chair or the walls to me, I cannot feel you near unless I try to See too. I am not very good at it.

[He's going to choose to not take offence at that, because ugly and a chair was one hell of a nightcap to a shitty day.]

I think if I were still an elf you might have better luck, but I am an Uruk, except for the night we made you which is why you are perfect and I am not. [One of many reasons, anyway.] I can never be a maia, I was not born to one. I am sorry if it frightens you that I am obscured by my nature.

It does not frighten me. I am very brave, says Louie.

[ The werewolf has a good eye for bravery, to be fair, having slain so many fierce warriors. ]

Will you please sing to me tonight? Tilly is a little ... screechy.

I am sure you are.

[His heart entirely melts when he asks to be sung too and Adar gathers him up until he is fully on his lap, wrapped in his arms.]

Of course. Every night that I am able. [He is fairly sure he had sung to the wall in his grief at some point. And he does begin to sing to him his favourite lullaby, picking up the plate of food so he can pick from it if he is still hungry until he is not or he falls asleep.]

[ Etelo curls up in Adar's lap as best he can, making himself small and cuddling the snacks so he can nibble and nap at the same time. He loves music and song, inheriting that from Adar almost entirely. A little boy who loves to be loved and give it back twicefold, he stays exactly where he is until he falls asleep humming along.

When the sconces have burned down, a shadow breezes through the chambers and the bedroom door can softly be heard opening. Closing most of the way; Sauron gets in bed alone while leaving them to their cuddling. ]

[He waits, well past the time that dramatic shadow flits through the room but only so he is sure that Etelo is asleep before he sets the food down and carries him to his bed, tucking him in and kissing his brow.

That moody shadow is a problem he has to fix, for the sake of all his children (if he has any others left...) and himself. Since the door was left ajar, he doesn't knock but slips through the door and presses it closed. Whichever way this goes their son doesn't need to hear more than he must.]

My Lord? [He inquires softly, his bare feet near-silent on the stone floor as he crosses the room. When he gets to the bed he stops, but strongly considers just curling up in the bed with him.]

[ No one is ever too old to pretend they are asleep. ]

Edited (fuck it i'll leave it there lmfao) 2022-12-18 19:32 (UTC)

[Well, then no one is too old to be the little spoon. Because Adar sighs softly and goes to the other side of the bed and crawls in under the covers, and wraps himself around Sauron from behind, his breath soft against his hair and throat as he nuzzles there.]

[ Sauron stays where he is, a heavy lump of heat and molten-warm hair from a much-needed lava bath. Fortunately for Adar, somewhat only warm now. ]

[As he isn't on fire he can only take that to mean it is not unwanted, and so Adar curls even closer, nuzzling against his throat and kissing over the pot a pulse belonged.]

I do love you. [Softly said, and true despite everything. He doesn't add the million "but"s that Sauron has absolutely earned.]

[ He doesn't want to think about the truth in that statement, letting it just exist between them for now. After a long moment he reaches back and brushes through Adar's (now full and soft as the glamour is reinstated) hair. ]

I cannot burn halfway mad.

[ It's not an apology, but. ]

You never have. [Which is not forgiveness, either. He will not sleep well after killing so many he cared about, maybe not ever again, but he does at least pretend he might when he curls closer, as much as he physically can.]

[ There's a flurry of movement as Sauron twists about in bed to get on top of Adar, looming over him as he stares down with a conversation halfway formed in his eyes ...

But he lays his head on his uruk's shoulder, drapes an arm around him, and settles down instead.

He cannot admit he did anything wrong, even if he knows he hurt him beyond words and cruelty, stealing time with Etelo more than the massacre of bodies. The latter is not so rare an occurrence in Angband. He cleaves to him in bed, instead tucking his head under his uruk's chin and hiding there. ]

[He doesn't say anything at first, for a long time he can hold his peace as his fingers stroke through Sauron's hair, soothing the person who had tried to split his spirit in two all for a slight that did not actually exist.]

Love. [He says, softly, when he does eventually speak. Minutes, maybe even an hour later.] All those times I was talking to you about our son I was inviting you in, not saying I loved you less. [He might now, in truth, but that doesn't really matter. He has to be sure that Sauron knows this. All that time he had wanted it to be the three of them and not him and the boy and the drifting shadow of Sauron.] You said I would only have him until he was grown... [So of course he had been more focused directly on him, but that didn't mean he was leaving Sauron out. He had never wanted him more, in fact.]

[ Well, that's hardly a fair thing to say; he goes limp and tucks his face further out of sight. 'I was inviting you in, not saying I loved you less.' That was all he ever needed to know but his anger burned like an exploding sun and he wanted to hurt more than hear, to bleed rather than beg, and then ...

All his heat cools, somewhat miserably, and he still remains silent. No maia has ever taken being wrong (or at least acknowledging it) very gracefully. ]

[He deserves a little unfairness after all of this. Adar stays awake, fighting sleep as the exhaustion of the week and especially the day begin to catch up with him, his fingers stroking Sauron's hair and almost being soothed by it himself.

But he is bone tired and upset still, and eventually, sleep claims him even though it is fitful and cruel in what it twists and replays for him.]

[ Sauron doesn't know what to do. He hasn't apologised to anyone in thousands of years, not that he can remember. It isn't ... a thing that ever needs to happen, not when you intentionally harm people to secure the dominion of your Dark Overlord. Kind of goes with the territory of not giving many fucks about the feelings of the suffering masses.

Adar is his, though. He is not just anyone.

In the dim light of morning, he kisses his way along Adar's shoulder to the curve of his neck and works on a lovebite there, petting down his body from chest to cock and back again, seeing if he can stir up any desire that he can attend to. ]

[The truth is, Adar fully expects this to be "forgotten" about by the morning. Sauron has always brushed past the hurts he caused him even if they were undeserved. Have a trinket, a kiss, some privilege or the other. Anything but some words he does not know how to say and maybe cannot say in a world in which he is second only to Melkor.

He is used to it.

So when one troubled dream turns strange because the monster starts kissing his neck, Adar blinks awake, slowly becoming aware that the only monster nibbling on his neck is the one he knows the best. This, too, was the kind of peace offering Sauron preferred.

It works before he even is fully awake, his cock stirring easily, having been neglected for what felt like longer than it must have been. A moan steals from his lips at Sauron's teeth on his throat, he is still heavy with sleep even as he presses up against him.]

[ While Adar is busy being sleepy and stupid, Sauron slides a hand behind himself to take care of some perfunctory prep (never missing a beat as he gnaws lightly at that bruising spot on Adar's neck and gives him a fist to slowly fuck) before slinging a leg over him to settle in place astride his uruk's hips. He kisses him properly then, teasing the tip of that cock in a light but relentless circular stroke all around the crown, trying to get him hard but to make it a pleasurable experience while awakening. ]

[He might be sleepy but his body reacts to Sauron's touch like it was not only fully awake but had been longing for him this whole time. He kiss he wants for sure, his hands greedily curling in Sauron's hair to keep him close as they kiss, his hips rolling to try and rub against him further as he reaches full hardness. Desire floods his every sense, rolls off his tongue into their kiss and the moans that are muffled by eager lips.]

[ It's utterly infuriating, wanting him so badly when also filled with white-hot rage by him for the sheer audacity of existing. The kisses melt into shared moans and he slicks up that cock with the leftover on his palm, once, twice stroked, too impatient not to guide him in and arch to take him on the first thrust. Sauron's whimper is a fractured breath but he keeps sinking down and it's all in his rocking hips as he does, the bedsheets barely disturbed around them where they drape off his shoulders and hide their coupling from the world.

The pain he can deal with. It's the intensity of his emotions that have him kissing Adar hungrily all over again once fully seated on his cock, breathing soft appreciation into the smear of their lips.

Yes, Fuck me, I need you. All fevered. ]

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