[He's going to choose to not take offence at that, because ugly and a chair was one hell of a nightcap to a shitty day.]

I think if I were still an elf you might have better luck, but I am an Uruk, except for the night we made you which is why you are perfect and I am not. [One of many reasons, anyway.] I can never be a maia, I was not born to one. I am sorry if it frightens you that I am obscured by my nature.